Tag Archives: music

Hey everyone!

How’s everyone doing today?

I hope everyone is getting along well and having success with their blogging.

I did a post a while ago about my top 3 songs at the moment and it was pretty popular so I thought I’d do another one like that.

Before we get into it I want to say a huge thank you to TheBlogComplainer who posted my poem on his site. Please go check him out!

Another quick note: I am hoping to be moved into the new place by the 22nd and I work everyday until the 21st so I will try to blog as often as I can but I might not be able to regularly.

With all that stated here we go!

My first current favorite song is Throne by Bring Me The Horizon.

This actually isn’t a band I listen to very often but I have been listening to this particular song a lot lately and I love the beat and I especially love the lyrics as well. Even if you don’t normally listen to that kind of music I definitely recommend it and it’s actually the song I’m listening to as I write this. (And how I just realized I need a new headset)

 

The second song that I have been listening to a lot is an old favorite and I’m not actually crazy about the verses but I absolutely love the chorus and that’s Gravity by Papa Roach. I’m not a huge rap fan and I wish the verses weren’t so screamy but I still love the song.

 

The last song is quite different from the other two since it’s a country song and it’s actually a pretty sad song but it’s been prompted by seeing someone I haven’t seen in a very very long time and I have had it stuck in my head for about a week now and that’s Mine Would Be You by Blake Shelton

 

I hope you guys liked this post and if there’s any other certain kinds of post you would like me to do let me know! Also feel free to share with your other blogger friends and I would be glad to let someone guest blog on one of my posts if you’d like!

Thanks again for all the support!

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Anxiety and Music

Human by Krewella and In My Blood by Shawn Mendes.

These are the two songs we’re going to be talking about today. They are two of my favorite movies currently and each for a different reason and some very similar reasons.

Human by Krewella is a song I’ve been listening to for a while but lately it’s meant more to me. The chorus goes like this,

“They say pain is an illusion, this is just a bruise, and you are just confused but I am only human, I could use a hand sometimes. I am only human”

I love this because sometimes we’re going through things and people don’t understand. Especially with anxiety and depression people tend to shake it off or downplay things when you say you’re shad or having a bad day. They say things like it’ll be fine or you’ll feel better or just breath. They don’t understand that you’ve tried doing the things you love and tried feeling better and you even tell yourself sometimes that you’re just anxious or depressed and you’re actually fine but nothing helps. Nothing stops the tears or lifts the heavy feeling from your heart.

Sometimes we just need someone to understand that we’re only human and sometimes it’s all just too much.

The next song is a little more uplifting and inspirational in my opinion and that’s In My Blood by Shawn Mendes.

This song is sad and talks about wanting to give up and feeling nothing and insecure which I can definitely relate to but the chorus of the song is what gives me hope and which I find so inspiring. It says “I feel like giving up, but I just can’t it isn’t in my blood.”

No matter what you’re going through and what you feel or how you feel, you need to stick in there and fight through it. No matter what you can get through it. You are stronger than your anxiety and depression and anything you’re going through. Even if it doesn’t feel like it.

Shawn Mendes-In My Blood

Krewella-Human

I hope you enjoyed this post and thank you all for your support and for following me. I have a few more things I’d like to post soon as well so look for them.

When Your Anxiety is Convinced the World is Going to End

So before I go ahead and launch into this post a few notes of caution:

1-This post is probably mostly fueled by my anxiety. I’m sure the world leaders can handle the situations I talk about in this post or they wouldn’t be world leaders.

2-This post is depressing! If you want to be happy and keep your sanity I suggest reading one of my other posts. Maybe a poem or short story!

Without further ado, here we go.

So after reading 2 news articles I have fully convinced myself the world is going to end. Or, as I so eloquently just texted my friend at 11:30pm, “I read the news and I’ve convinced myself thaat we’re all going to die from nuclear war soon but all anyone cares about is what Kim Kardashian is wearing and the government only cares about making us poor people poorer when it won’t matter because the world is going to end before I even get married and have kids :(.”

And no, I did not use any punctuation in the actual text message either. I would also like everyone to keep in mind that I had the same level of anxiety while thinking about the end of the world as I did while texting my friend saying I wanted to change the design of the tattoo I’m getting for our best friend tattoos. Because, priorities.

So getting back to the article at hand, it was basically an article about the World getting a two minute warning to nuclear war according to the doomsday clock and about how North Korea doesn’t want to give up their nuclear weapons. This with an article I read about Russia developing a supersonic weapon that will be ready in 2 years sent my anxiety on a field trip.

Like I said before, I’m sure that everything will be fine and that world leaders will be able to handle it. My anxiety, however, has no faith in our world leaders at all. So here I am sitting in my bed and googling how to stop a nuclear war from the comfort of my bedroom.

On the other hand I seem to have no anxiety currently over my medical bills or my student loan or anything that is a more imminent threat than the end of the world.

 

I guess since my anxiety is currently convinced that the world is going to end, it figures I won’t have to worry about my financial and personal troubles as much. This is actually a plus since it give me a break from freaking out about everyday stuff like I usually do.

So, anyway, that’s my anxiety’s dilemma for the day. Give me any feedback below. I’d like to hear what your anxiety convinces you about, or even any tips or tricks people have to get themselves out of anxious moods like this where you worry way more than necessary. Or even your thoughts on the doomsday clock and potential end of the world.

As always, have a good night!

You totally don’t have anxiety…said my anxiety

Today I wanted to talk about something that I experience a lot. As I mentioned in a previous post, I haven’t been professionally diagnosed with anxiety or depression and because of that sometimes I get anxious….about my anxiety. I have moments where I convince myself that I don’t have anxiety, I’m just crazy. Like the night before I was going to go to my boyfriend’s moms for Christmas and I was worrying because I had only gotten her a card and lottery ticket for Christmas and she had gotten me a ton of gifts. I sat there overthinking everything like how maybe I should run out and get something at 1am and how maybe if I didn’t get her anything she wouldn’t like me and would think I wasn’t good enough for her son and how maybe she didn’t like me already and this would just make it worse and OhMyGod what if she talks to him and his sister behind my back about how much she doesn’t like me? At this point I had reduced myself to tears over going to his mom’s for Christmas. It was also during this anxiety attack that I convinced myself I didn’t actually have anxiety. That I was just crazy and that I shouldn’t be thinking the way I was thinking. So then I started having anxiety about having anxiety.

It doesn’t help when you have family that, when you try to talk to them about, says it’s all in your head and if you just focus hard enough you can get rid of it. Like I haven’t tried that before. Like I haven’t tried writing, meditation, yoga, exercise. Any natural thing I can thing of short of anti psychotics. I don’t even like taking medicine for my hypothyroidism.

Anyway that’s my short rant for today. Has anyone else ever felt like this? Let me know in the comments and, as always, have a good night!

PS: I don’t know why but I love this song and it brings me peace.

A new start

So, as you know from a couple posts back, I decided to stop doing SFI. Along with at I went through and deleted all of my posts from doing SFI. I want to take a new direction with this blog and make it more personal and more a discussion type of thing.

Another reason I decided to get rid of the older posts is because they link to my SFI page which has a picture of me on there as well as some private information. Some of my posts on this blog are going to be a more personal nature and talk about sensitive topics and I’d rather remain anonymous. I’m always here to talk and have a discussion but would rather not share any personal details about myself. There is, however, an exception to that. I have decided that if I get a significant amount of followers from this I will switch to video blogging and post my videos on YouTube as well as on here. I don’t expect that to happen soon, if ever, so for now I will be leaving this anonymous.

Now, on to the actual content of this post: anxiety. I suffer from really bad anxiety (undiagnosed) and depression (also undiagnosed) Sometimes I have a hard time coping and convincing myself everything is going to be ok and other days i’m fine and everything is sunshine and rainbows. I overthink almost everything people say to me and around me, I reread text messages that I send and that people send to me multiple times to make sure it sounds ok and I will usually find a hidden meaning in them that’s not actually there. I panic about the smallest things like going to a friend’s house or asking someone a simple question.

As for the depression part, I have cut in the past. Thankfully it’s been a long time. I feel emotions very deeply, especially love and sadness. Sometimes I find myself deeply upset and crying for no apparent reason. I cry myself to sleep more often than I let people know and I have days where I would prefer to sleep the day away and not get out of bed. I would also like to say that as someone who has cut, it is not romantic or “beautiful” and should not be glorified in anyway, shape or form. I’m not shaming those who do it or have done because I can relate but in my personal experience I didn’t do it so people would see my scars and pity me and feel sympathy for me. I did it because at the timeĀ  the pain from cutting wasn’t as bad as the emotional pain I was feeling and it was a sort of release. Luckily I have found better ways to cope since then such as reading, doing this blog, bubble baths, and listening to music. Sometimes exercise when I get really bored.

I find that something I really struggle with is being able to talk to people about how I’m feeling without it being medically diagnosed by a professional. I commend people who are going through these problems and struggles and who seek professional help and are getting the help that they need. I can neither afford professional help, nor do I want it. I don’t fancy the idea of taking medicines that will make me feel numb or nothing at all and as for talking to people I have my amazingly supportive boyfriend and all of you. However, sometimes people don’t take me seriously when I say I’m anxious or depressed. Yes I may not be CLINICALLY depressed or anxious but I know on some level the emotions I’m feeling and the way I’m thinking aren’t normal and I don’t feel that that should make my struggle any less concrete and important.

For society’s and simplicity’s sake I usually just say I’m feeling anxious or unusually upset when I talk about my feelings and I suppose I will do that through these as well. Please comment below about ways you find to cope even if it’s not with anxiety or depression but with any struggles and obstacles you may have and please NO negative comments. This is a safe space for open discussion and support. You are entitled to your opinions but DON’T be rude!

I am going to say goodnight for now and just share a song below that I heard for the first time today that I really relate to and explains how I feel and I hope it will help and comfort some of you as well!

 

PS-any pictures that I share in my posts have been taken and edited by me if they were edited. Please do not redistribute or use them without my permission. If you choose to ignore this then please at least credit this blog if you use them. Thank you!