Tag Archives: life

Maybe We’re Like Johnny and Penn

Hey guys.

That title probably doesn’t make that much sense. I’m watching a movie on Netflix and Johnny and Penn are two characters who start out in a relationship and who do love and care about each other, but they’re not right for each other in that way. So they split up.

There’s a difference between them and how I’m feeling though.

I’m head over heels madly and deeply in love with him. He made me believe in love again. He stole my heart and he’s everything I’ve ever wanted in my life. He is my life.

But when I see people kissing in movies with that spark in their eyes, kissing deeply and lovingly and emotionally, it hurts my heart, because he doesn’t kiss me like that. He doesn’t pull me close to him and tangle his fingers in my hair and kiss me like I’m the only girl he’s ever kissed. I get life isn’t a movie and things aren’t a fairytale. But I just want to feel like his dream girl.

I don’t want to feel like he’s forcing himself to be in love with me when his heart is somewhere else. I think we could be amazing friends. We could have a great time hanging out and playing Pokemon Go and playing COD and watching movies and we could laugh all the time.

But as I think about us moving in together and sharing a room, sharing intimate space and about how he stops talking so much when I talk about things like marriage and the future, I can’t help thinking maybe we should have stayed friends.

Maybe when I started looking at him and feeling my heart skip beats I should have ignored it. When I told him I liked him and he talked about still being obsessed with his ex, maybe I should have let it go there.

I don’t know if I’ll even post this, but I can’t help thinking as I sit here, that maybe the man of my dreams, only sees me as a friend when I see him as home.

Thanks for listening guys.

Advertisements

The Forgotten Land

She sat on her windowsill, staring out at the blue and red sky. It was a marvelous sight. The blues and reds right next to each other but never touching. Just the right blue and red where it wasn’t clashing but looked like a dream.

Underneath the fantasy sky lay tall lush green grass. Laid out like a plush carpet, where you could lay for hours and dream of anything you could imagine. Everything around you would seem like you landed in a dream.

That’s how she had ended up here after all. From dreaming.

The trees were made of a sweet cinnamon tasting bark, and the leaves hung down in a twisted taffy fashion. Even the rocks tasted like a chocolate whoopie pie. The water tasted like water but the clearest, fresh, most thirst quenching water you had ever tasted.

Everything here was designed to draw you in, make you want to stay.

But it was all a lie.

She had ended up here from a dream. She had fallen asleep one night, outside in the forest, next to a hidden stream. She had been going there for days to think but this one night she was too tired to walk back home. When she awoke she was in this tower. This plain, rocky home with nowhere to go, nothing to do. The day she had awoken she decided to go outside and explore the area. At first everything had seemed like a dream. She had eaten from the trees, drank from the water, and laid down in the plush grass to watch the beautiful sky. And then she started to cough. It was misleading at first. Just a small cough, like happens to any of us. And then it got worse. Pretty soon she was gasping for air and she couldn’t catch her breath. She barely made it back to the tower and shut the door. She lay gasping on the floor for hours. Trying to get her air back and try to breath.

The air was in fact toxic and poisonous. Everything was designed to look tempting and relaxing so that you don’t leave. So that, by the time you realize it, it’s too late and you suffocate to death. The bodies were used to feed the monster in the woods. She had seen it, when peering out the window at night. She had hidden beneath the windowsill so it wouldn’t see her. As far as it knew, no one ever survived. It only came out at night to collect the bodies. She had tried to warn people, yelled and pounded on the window. But they couldn’t hear her and she was too afraid to go outside again. So night after night, ,week after week, month after month, she watched people fade away and the monster continue to eat. It could’ve been years and years for all she knew, she had been up in the prison for what felt like eternity.

*************************************************************************************

Hey guys, this is another short story for you guys. I’m sorry if they all seem like excerpts. Sometimes I come up with what I think are really cool ideas for a story but I suck at fleshing them out into full length stories, so I usually just write as much as I can come up with. Originally I wanted to keep my ideas copyrighted so that they couldn’t be stolen but I personally think I am being selfish because, realistically, I will probably never write a book and, even if I did, my mind is so full of random twisted ideas that I’m sure I could come up with a new base concept. Therefore, if you read any of my short stories and feel inspired to write a longer version or a whole novel then feel free. I only ask two things. 1-you somehow send me a copy so that I can see what the inspiration turned into and 2-you put me in the acknowledgements. Thank you and I hope you find this inspiring, Let me know what you think.

On a side side note, on a different blog I used to do with someone, I used to do a quote of the day where I shared a quote or song/movie quote that inspired me and what I took from it. It seemed to be fairly popular there and I was wondering if anyone would be interested in that here?

Thanks and please let me know!

Writing Break

Hey everyone!

I know it’s been a while since I’ve written anything on here. I want to apologize to you guys. Life has just been crazy lately and getting time to actually write on my blog has been nonexistent.

I’m still not going to be able to write consistently for a while until I get things all situated. I don’t want to go into too much detail right now but I’m moving and some other things are going on so my life is a little hectic right now.

Even if I can’t write regularly I will try to keep you guys updated on things from time to time and do some creative writing as well.

As always thanks for all the support and for following my blog!

I hope you’re all doing good as well!

Check In

Hey everyone!

Just wanted to see how everyone is doing! I know life gets hectic and we don’t always have time for what we want and sometimes even need to do but I just wanted to check in on my wonderful followers and see how you’re all doing!

Let me know what you’re all doing! We’re all on WordPress and I want to see what you guys have going on as well!

Most of all just keep up all the wonderful work in everything that you’re doing and Let It Shine!!

Relationships-Appreciate the small things

Hey everyone!

I just wanted to talk a little bit about something I was thinking about today. And yes, this will probably include sappy and mushy things about my boyfriend.

So, when my boyfriend and I first started dating he’d show up to see me at work and give me a hug and kiss and it would just make me so happy because it wasn’t something I was used to. Someone just stopping and taking time out of their day to see me was something foreign to me and it made me really happy. We’ve been together for a little over a year now and he still stops in at my job to see me like he did today. I realized today that it’s kinda just become something I expect him to do and I don’t have the same like OMG this is amazing reaction to it anymore. And I should. Even though he’s been doing it for a while now, he’s still taking time out of his day to come see me at work and see how I’m doing and kiss me and hug me and sometimes I don’t appreciate it as much as I should. Seeing him lifts my mood and makes me happy and sometimes it’s exactly what I need. During particularly trying days, I’ll actually ask him to come give me a hug. And he does. I guess what I’m trying to say is, no matter how long you guys have been together, NEVER stop appreciating the little things they do to show they care. No matter how long they’ve been doing it, every single time they do it it’s because they’re making a conscience effort to make you happy and do something for you. In fact, the longer they keep doing it the happier you should be because it shows they’re still thinking of you and putting you as a priority in your life.

Another thing that I’ve had to realize is that, he doesn’t share my anxieties. What I mean by this is that, with anxiety, I freak out about stupid things. I’ll overthink tiny little things that don’t matter and aren’t important. I am an EXPERT at making mountains out of molehills. What I’ve realize though is that while something small can throw me into a panic of thinking that the world is ending and he’s leaving me or he doesn’t love me anymore or yada yada, he isn’t thinking those things at all. Sometimes something that upsets me completely has NOTHING to do with me in his view. It can be him having a bad day and having an attitude. I take it personally when in reality he’s reacting to something else that happened in his life, not reacting to me.

The last thing I want to say is, appreciate your time together. This is a big one for me. I’ve had to really learn, and am still learning, that if I constantly worry about what can go wrong and what I’m doing wrong and this and that, I’m not truly enjoying the moments I actually have with him and, in fact, could be pushing him farther away by trying to do the exact opposite.

He is truly one of the most caring, loving, supportive people I have ever met and he is truly my best friend. I have depression and there’s days I’m not sure I would still be here if I didn’t have him. He’s my rock and my light and I’m beyond blessed to have found someone who means so much to me and who loves me and makes me feel loved in return.

So yeah, back to the original point, whether it’s in a relationship or just in life in general, appreciate the small things. People can be rude, life can suck, bills pile up and this world can drive you crazy. Don’t forget to take time for yourself, take care of your mental health and appreciate the things going right in your life. Even if it’s something small.

Love you guys!

 

Technical issues and diet

Hello everyone!

So I first want to start off with apologizing for how late I am in posting something. Life has been a little crazy lately and I will explain everything that is going on. The one thing I won’t go into too much detail about is my best friend’s birthday was over the weekend and I didn’t have my laptop with me so that’s why I didn’t post then.

Recently, about two-three days ago, I tried to write a post for you guys and my laptop completely freaked out. It typed multiple letters for everything I wrote and my cursor stopped working. Even my space bar didn’t really want to work. Today however these issues seem to be fixed

As you all know from my other post we were waiting and struggling for my grandmother to be buried. I did post an update but, if you didn’t see it, she was buried on Saturday after a family member put up the rest of the money. I was given a donation on Gofundme and I am leaving it on there so, eventually, it will automatically refund back to the person. I didn’t feel right keeping it, even though it was smaller, because the full amount was put up by someone else and I didn’t really need it for that purpose. Her sister spoke at the wedding as the officiant and it was very beautiful. Thank you everyone for the support.

The second thing is that I mentioned in a previous post I was considering moving to overnights at work. I did end up doing this and this has been my first week on overnight’s schedule at work. I have been having a very hard time keeping to the sleep schedule and getting the appropriate amount of sleep. Especially since a lot of things in my life currently are making it so I can’t sleep during the day which would be ideal for work. I talked to my boss just today and am looking into going back to my previous schedule which worked a bit better for my life outside of work. Another big factor in that decision is that my boyfriend was moving to nights at his job so we’d have a similar schedule. His plans have changed so me on overnights would actually make our schedules farther apart.

The final thing that I’d like to talk about is weight loss and my diet. I am currently at 200lbs. I’m not big on sharing my weight with others but I feel like telling my followers on here will help keep me accountable. I’m 5’4 so, as far as BMI goes, I am obese. I have decided that, starting tomorrow, I am going to try the keto diet. I have heard very good things from people close to me and I want to try it out and see if it works for me. I have hypothyroidism and I’ve heard it can even help get your thyroid back to normal even though that’s not a proven thing and there currently isn’t a cure for thyroid disorders. I am on medicine for my thyroid though I should be taking it more regularly.

I am hoping that the keto diet will help with weight loss but also help with cutting down, if not quitting completely, my caffeine intake. I am currently having 2-3 energy drinks a day which, while also being horrible for my thyroid, is causing numerous issues for my health. Caffeine is very, VERY, addictive and I am hoping this helps me recover from those issues. I do have an instagram page. If anyone would be interested in me posting my keto journey pictures (as I go through it since tomorrow is my first day) let me know that in the comments. Again thank you all for the continued support and, as always, have a good night!

Juggling Life

Hey everyone!

So I just wanted to pop in here and say hi to everyone, see how everyone is doing. Just small talk and chilling. I want to keep it real with you guys and be open and communicative.

Lately I have been trying to juggle a lot of things between my bills and a full time job and my relationship and still trying to make room for my hobbies like blogging and makeup and everything so I want you guys to know you’re not being ignored and I’m not forgetting about this blog. It’s just a bit harder to write on this daily and remember to post things every single night and, honestly, sometimes I sit down to write a post on here and just don’t really have anything to talk about.

Anyway that was my short rant and I wanted to say hi and let everyone know I’m still here and hopefully I will have a longer and more substantial post coming up soon!

Thanks and have a great night!