Tag Archives: crisis

When Your Anxiety is Convinced the World is Going to End

So before I go ahead and launch into this post a few notes of caution:

1-This post is probably mostly fueled by my anxiety. I’m sure the world leaders can handle the situations I talk about in this post or they wouldn’t be world leaders.

2-This post is depressing! If you want to be happy and keep your sanity I suggest reading one of my other posts. Maybe a poem or short story!

Without further ado, here we go.

So after reading 2 news articles I have fully convinced myself the world is going to end. Or, as I so eloquently just texted my friend at 11:30pm, “I read the news and I’ve convinced myself thaat we’re all going to die from nuclear war soon but all anyone cares about is what Kim Kardashian is wearing and the government only cares about making us poor people poorer when it won’t matter because the world is going to end before I even get married and have kids :(.”

And no, I did not use any punctuation in the actual text message either. I would also like everyone to keep in mind that I had the same level of anxiety while thinking about the end of the world as I did while texting my friend saying I wanted to change the design of the tattoo I’m getting for our best friend tattoos. Because, priorities.

So getting back to the article at hand, it was basically an article about the World getting a two minute warning to nuclear war according to the doomsday clock and about how North Korea doesn’t want to give up their nuclear weapons. This with an article I read about Russia developing a supersonic weapon that will be ready in 2 years sent my anxiety on a field trip.

Like I said before, I’m sure that everything will be fine and that world leaders will be able to handle it. My anxiety, however, has no faith in our world leaders at all. So here I am sitting in my bed and googling how to stop a nuclear war from the comfort of my bedroom.

On the other hand I seem to have no anxiety currently over my medical bills or my student loan or anything that is a more imminent threat than the end of the world.

 

I guess since my anxiety is currently convinced that the world is going to end, it figures I won’t have to worry about my financial and personal troubles as much. This is actually a plus since it give me a break from freaking out about everyday stuff like I usually do.

So, anyway, that’s my anxiety’s dilemma for the day. Give me any feedback below. I’d like to hear what your anxiety convinces you about, or even any tips or tricks people have to get themselves out of anxious moods like this where you worry way more than necessary. Or even your thoughts on the doomsday clock and potential end of the world.

As always, have a good night!

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Identity Crisis

Hey everyone!

This is the article I mentioned in my last post that I would be doing.

The backstory for this post is that I watched a documentary the other night on youtube that featured a youtube star that I watch pretty frequently. She’s gothic and she lives in Germany. The documentary was on gothic life and the gothic scene and the lives of individual gothic people. While I was watching the video I just related so much to what was being said and the people that were featured in the video. When the video was done I started thinking about my personality and the things I’m interested. I looked around my room which is covered in Nightmare Before Christmas and my window which is covered in a Nightmare Before Christmas blanket. I thought about my 90% black wardrobe and black shoes and how I spend my free time taking pictures of abandoned places and cemeteries and realized that I identify as gothic, or at least some subset of gothic.

This made me sad. Not because I wasn’t thrilled (I was). But because I can’t truly be myself. See while I was thinking about all this, I also thought about my anxiety and my depression and my family and job and my boyfriend. I realized that none of them would understand or accept me as a goth. My family for the most part and my boyfriend’s family is very religious and my boyfriend himself, while a very supportive and understanding person, wouldn’t be very tolerant of that lifestyle. Would I love to dress in black all the time and do up my face and paint my room black and red? Yes, yes I would. However, the people I love and care about most wouldn’t accept me anymore and I feel like that’s too big of a price to pay. I’m relatively happy on a daily basis and have developed a sort of day to day routine. My town in general also isn’t very welcoming to outsiders.

I have decided not to adapt the lifestyle but to be comforted by my books and poetry and visiting cemeteries and abandoned places in my free time. Does anyone else struggle with this or something similar? If so, how did you cope with it? Let me know in the comments!

PS: I mentioned above how photography is a way I cope with this struggle and also my anxiety. Below are some pictures I’ve taken if you’re interested!

Also please no messages saying I’m making the wrong decision or that I’m being stupid etc. It’s my own personal choice I’ve made. Thank you.