Untitled (Part 2)

Her guest couldn’t see her right away from where she was standing. And it was probably for the best. She should try to at least get to know her company before he tried to run away.

Her guest was a handsome man from the village who was still looking for a young bride. That thought amused her. When he saw what she looked like he’d wish he’d never come to the castle. In fact he’d probably be fit to be single for all of his days.

He went to turn around as she entered the room.

“Please, I’d rather us not face each other just yet.”

“Well, if you’re sure madam. Of course.”

He turned back to his original seated position and began to drink the wine that was placed in front of him. In a few minutes he fell off his chair as the sleeping agent set in.

She sighed. She had hoped he would last a little longer than the other ones. Long enough for a decent discussion.

She whistled and her “pet” came and drug him to the dungeon where the other ones where as well. Pet was a loose word for a 7ft tall beast with claws as sharp as daggers and teeth like little knives. It was her partner in fact. Her lover, changed before they had had the chance to get married. Of course in this state his beautiful words that had once waxed poetic to her in the early light of the morning was now reduced to growls and grunts. He did anything she asked, as he had as a human. But she still felt a tug of guilt as he dragged this newest mortal to the dungeon.

Finally, as she headed back into the hall to head back upstairs, she looked in the full length mirror. Her shaggy hair had changed into a long black mane. Her nails and teeth, the same as that of her lover. She thought back upon that day. The happiest and worst day of her life.

The day her and her lover had been cursed.

*************************************************************************************And that is part 2! I will hopefully have part 3 up soon. This took a different turn than I had originally intended but I think I like this better.

Thank you for all the support and continued following!

 

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Mental health day.

Hey everyone. As it turns out, I won’t be posting part 2 of my story today.

I’ve been so stressed out and overwhelmed lately that when I get home from work I just have no energy and no motivation. I’m laying in bed half asleep as I write this.

Tonight I’m just going to listen to music and get some sleep and hopefully tomorrow I will be feeling better and more up to writing.

Thank you all for your continued support and love!

Long Day (and upcoming things)

Hey everyone!

So today was a very long and tiring day so I will not be posting the second part of that story tonight but I still like to post (or try to post) every day to keep you guys posted (ha posted…see what I did there?) and let you guys know what’s going on because I really do appreciate all the support you guys give me.

So (hopefully) tomorrow night I will be posting the second part of the story and writing a few more parts to schedule to post. I am also going to try to write some other posts like my review of the Penelope movie and some other things to schedule to post while I’m on vacation.

I leave for vacation on Thursday and I will be back around Monday so things SHOULD return to normal after that. I don’t have a set work schedule so things can get a little hectic sometimes especially when (like tonight) I end up working longer than I was scheduled for.

I will also do an update on my tattoo and how it’s healing if anyone is interested in reading about that and I’m thinking about doing another poem or two.

Also if anyone has any reccomendations about where I can submit a poem that’s already posted online, please let me know!

Thank you all and, as always, have a great night!

Love, Crystal

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Part 1 (untitled)

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She twirled around in the mirror one more time. She still didn’t like the dress but everyone had insisted that she looked great. She thought it clashed with the red in her hair. And the satin was far too delicate.

She sighed and started carefully making her way down the stairs. The vines had grown over the handrail and she wasn’t used to walking like this. The servants were quite displeased that she was shoeless, but she had had no choice.

She made her way to the bottom of the stairway and faced the marred full length mirror in front of her. The walls in this landing were huge panels of glass used to make the place appear bigger, even though it was big enough without all the ornate details. The rug along the floor was still majestic, even though it was ripped in numerous places, you could still make out the gold woven into the fibers and the scenes pictured. There were waterfalls and gorgeous wood scenes, animals flitting around in the forest and majestic mountain scenes stretching the whole hallway.

The sight granted her some peace before she remembered her destination and started making her way to the room at the end of the hallway. Every step that she took felt heavier, like she was trying to walk through quicksand. She knew she should feel excited, that this should be a positive experience. But the view in the mirror, what she saw looking back at her, was at the forefront of her mind. She could think of nothing else as she was walking and, more than once, she considered turning back and running back upstairs. The reminder that hers wasn’t the only fate at stake steeled her nerve enough to keep her going.

After what seemed like hours she finally reach the ornate wooden door. This, too, had gold inlaid into it. The wood was carved at the top into a majestic lion head, forever in the middle of roaring. the doorknob had once held a wondrous emerald gemstone, before the castle had fallen into ruin and her father had sold almost everything of value he could find, before he had perished. He had only been trying to protect her but she still felt a twinge of anger as she dwelt on the memory. She reached her hand out to the doorknob and took a deep breath as she turned it and pushed it open into the great hall.

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Hey everyone! So I’m writing a story that I suddenly got inspiration for today and I’m writing it in parts so like and/or comment if you want to read the next part of it!

Thank you for all the support and advice I really appreciate it!

 

Late night poem

Fuck me like you mean it

Like you need me.

Because I’m drowning again.

Making love to my insecurities.

I don’t believe it

Not for a minute.

I know you love me baby.

And I feel happy in your arms

But right now I’m slow dancing with my anxiety.

There’s tears coming in waves through my body.

And I don’t even know why

I thought I was happy.

Maybe it’s the depression talking

Or is that me?

It’s hard to tell the difference when I can’t even breath.

I distracted myself for a while

And maybe I was ok.

But it’s quiet and dark now

And nothing’s alright.

Do you think one day I’ll get over this?

Do you think it’s like the flu?

I don’t think that’s how it works

But god I hope so too.

I don’t want to feel this way

I want to live without a pause

Without stopping when the demons come to call

That must be what this is

Because It’s stealing my life away

And if this is just some game then I don’t want to play.

I’m laying here again with these tears on my face

I’m supposed to feel safe but I’m so tired of this place.

Would you like to switch bodies so I can escape for a while?

My mind is broken and I just want to be a carefree child

Do you want to hold me for a bit?

I think it could help

Even if I can’t be fixed.

Would you lay next to me in bed?

Please, save me from the monsters in my head.

Beauty and the Beast Review (French 2014 Version)

Hey everyone!

So I was just on Netflix and I searched for a Cinderella Story with Hillary Duff because I love that movie and Beauty and the Beast came up but a version I hadn’t seen before. (probably because it’s French) Now as you probably know since I just got a tattoo of a rose that’s supposed to be from Beauty and the Beast, I love that movie so I decided to watch it.As it turns out I think it was dubbed on Netflix to English so luckily I could understand it because I don’t speak French. I was actually shocked how different this version was from the regular version I was so used to seeing. Without giving anything away there’s plunderers, nymphs, lots and lots of roses, a beast (obviously) and some beagles. Overall I actually really really loved this version and definitely recommend it if you’re looking for a new twist on an old classic.

I am sorry this was such a short post but I do think this movie was great and I really don’t want to give anything away. Thanks for reading and if everyone would like, maybe I will give a more detailed review of this movie in the future. Another movie I want to review soon which I just watched yesterday is Penelope. Yes this is an older movie but I hadn’t seen it yet.

Thanks again for all your support!

Anxiety and Music

Human by Krewella and In My Blood by Shawn Mendes.

These are the two songs we’re going to be talking about today. They are two of my favorite movies currently and each for a different reason and some very similar reasons.

Human by Krewella is a song I’ve been listening to for a while but lately it’s meant more to me. The chorus goes like this,

“They say pain is an illusion, this is just a bruise, and you are just confused but I am only human, I could use a hand sometimes. I am only human”

I love this because sometimes we’re going through things and people don’t understand. Especially with anxiety and depression people tend to shake it off or downplay things when you say you’re shad or having a bad day. They say things like it’ll be fine or you’ll feel better or just breath. They don’t understand that you’ve tried doing the things you love and tried feeling better and you even tell yourself sometimes that you’re just anxious or depressed and you’re actually fine but nothing helps. Nothing stops the tears or lifts the heavy feeling from your heart.

Sometimes we just need someone to understand that we’re only human and sometimes it’s all just too much.

The next song is a little more uplifting and inspirational in my opinion and that’s In My Blood by Shawn Mendes.

This song is sad and talks about wanting to give up and feeling nothing and insecure which I can definitely relate to but the chorus of the song is what gives me hope and which I find so inspiring. It says “I feel like giving up, but I just can’t it isn’t in my blood.”

No matter what you’re going through and what you feel or how you feel, you need to stick in there and fight through it. No matter what you can get through it. You are stronger than your anxiety and depression and anything you’re going through. Even if it doesn’t feel like it.

Shawn Mendes-In My Blood

Krewella-Human

I hope you enjoyed this post and thank you all for your support and for following me. I have a few more things I’d like to post soon as well so look for them.

“And here you are, living despite it all”

Hey everyone!

Today we’re going to talk about the quote tattoo I have on my left shoulder. I got it in March of last year. It says “And here you are, living despite it all.”

This quote is by Rupi Kaur.

I have no idea, still, who Rupi Kaur is or what the quote is from. I just came across it one day.

Why I decided to get it is a whole different story.

I didn’t have the best childhood. Growing up was hard and my parents split when I was young. I grew up with my dad and we moved around…a lot. I also had health issues like asthma and scoliosis which I eventually needed surgery for (a surgery for another time).

Then I found love after reuniting with a childhood crush and moved in with him and his family and we got engaged and life was amazing…until I went to college. We started to fight and argue a lot and a lot of issues came out and eventually we broke up for good.

After we broke up (and a few scattered times when I was quite young) I was very depressed to the point where I didn’t want to live anymore. I was barely 12 the first few times I tried to kill myself. It stopped for a while until those dark times after my fiance and I broke up. I didn’t see a happy future and I had built my whole life around him and now he was gone.

Finally I got better after lots of depression and mood swings, cutting and binge drinking. How I graduated college is still a mystery to me.

So in March of last year when I went to get the tattoo with a guy I had a huge crush on (not knowing I’d start dating him a month later) it meant everything to me. That despite EVERYTHING I had been through and even despite me trying NOT TO BE HERE, I was still living despite all of that. hence the quote “and here you are, living despite it all.”

So, naturally, you can imagine how upset I was when a quote mark was missing and I realized how off center it was and how it really wasn’t what I wanted it to be. I didn’t realize how important a quote mark could be until this past Tuesday when Chip, who did my rose tattoo, put the end quote mark on my quote and touched up some of the lines. I started crying and gave him a hug. My other two tattoos are Disney related. I love Disney but the quote really matters to me and is important to me and reminds me daily that I can overcome any obstacle, even if I don’t think I will get through it at the time.

I am so incredibly happy that it looks better and now looks like a finished tattoo.

So yeah, that’s the story behind my quote tattoo, sorry for all the depressing moments in this post guys. I promise to try to make theĀ  next one more positive and thanks again for all the support!!!

Tattoo after it was touched up:

36976872_1754739594601871_4056510329473990656_n

New Tattoo!

Hello everyone!

How is everyone? I just recently got a new tattoo on Tuesday. I will share a picture here:36978827_1754690367940127_1359701163179507712_n

I got this done by Chip Beam at Artifex in Vestal NY. Pain wise it definitely didn’t tickle but the pain was bearable and I was able to sit through it (I’m also a wuss). Chip is pretty quick at tattooing so I think this took 25mins max to do with a touchup on my other tattoo.

Price wise I paid $150 for this and the touch up. The tattoo shop is very clean and sanitized between each client (3 of us went). He was talkative and I felt very comfortable there and not like a nuisance like I had experienced in previous experiences.

Overall it was a good time and I would definitely recommend Chip if you’re in the area and looking to get a tattoo. Make sure you call and make an appointment though because we had to book our appointments pretty far in advance.

On other notes, I am going to try to make another makeup video soon and probably a couple more reviews. Maybe some poems. Let me know what you’d like to see most! Thanks for all the support!

As always, have a good night!

 

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